The Bread of Life

*This blog is prefaced with an apology for the delay with thanks for your continued prayers and support!*

Every time I put my pen to the paper I am always so humbled.  How can I, a simple finite man, attempt to describe the infinite awesomeness of God?  How can I put on paper things that are just too wonderful for me to understand?  Is it even possible to accurately paint a picture of what God is doing amongst my people?  To tell it in any detail would take the work of a small book and not one of this short blog.  I do hope to write a book someday that captures all of my adventures here. I think a fitting title would be From the Bathroom Stall to the Bush.  It would be my testimony of how God’s redeeming love took hold of a hopeless and defeated junky and made him a minister of reconciliation with a message of hope for the unreached.  But that is for another time.  This a different story that is about that same love and hope, but it instead of starting in a bathroom stall it starts with the Bread of Life…

Last year’s rainy season was one of the worst in many years. No rain means there are no crops, which in turn, means that there is no food.  This is a concept that we, as Americans, know little to nothing about.   Rain in Africa means life, and when it doesn’t come, it results in hunger and some cases, death.  This was a struggle for me to grasp and understand, and even caused me to be a little upset with God. Why would He allow this to happen?  How can I do anything to help?  I am just one man and I have very little to give.  As things began to unfold, I was soon able to see that God had a plan and a purpose that wasn’t about me but about Him.

The food shortage in our village was assessed and we found that the need was great.  I couldn’t walk anywhere without people telling us that they were hungry and asking us for food.  I was overcome with joy when I heard that help would come and that it would come in a way that could only happen by the hand of God.  After overcoming many obstacles and setbacks, we  finally got the call to head to the village. The food and the team were on their way.

Now lets keep in mind that this is Africa.; nothing happens the way that you want it to, and any plans you can make seem to blow away like the wind.  I have learned to plan on five days if you are told it takes one, and to never believe what you may hear on the phone.  Half of the food that I was told was “on its way” was actually outside of my village stuck in the sand, while the other half was on a broken down truck over ten hours away.  Oh Africa, how I love you.  Let the fun begin!

If I explained this adventure day by day, this blog would be a mile long, so I’ll do my best to share the highlights.  It was so sweet to have the team in our village for the first time.  I was very blessed by it and so were my people.  I have never seen the villagers more joyful.  Everyone from the entire village came out to greet the team with music, dancing and singing.  I was so proud.  I had never seen them so open and receptive.  They walked the trucks into the village and then we spent some time dancing and celebrating.  I had never seen my people like this before, and I often found myself holding back tears of joy.

God was definitely on the move and He was taking our team right along with Him.  Stories about Jesus were being told everywhere.  Men and women, young and old, were getting the taste of Truth for the first time.  We were even able to tell a story in the presence of the chief and the elders.  The Word was going out, sometimes falling on soft hearts, and other times causing opposition.  I had moments when I would just sit back to take it all in and watch the battle take place for these lost souls.  Love, Light, and Truth were warring against hard, dark deception.  It was beautiful to watch the Kingdom of God advancing.  The darkness could not stand in the face of the Light!

Many people seemed to be seeking and some even said they believed.  Some began to ask themselves which is true - the way that they have always believed?  Or these new things they were hearing?  One man’s experience really touched my heart.  Old Man Ebo had been on death’s door just a couple of months ago.  We had given him some recordings about Jesus to listen to and he really liked them. But now he was hearing these stories being told by His believers and it was different.  Ebo couldn’t get enough Jesus.  Something changed in Ebo.  He had a light in his eyes and a life about him I had never seen before.  Right after the team left he came up to me and said something I didn’t understand.  I had never heard it before.  My friend explained to me that he was asking me if he could pray for me.  What?!  That just simply does not happen here, my people do not do that!  What was really going on?  I accepted his offer and Ebo laid his arthritis-mangled hands on me and began to pray.  The word I made out more than any other word during that prayer was “Jesus.”  Ebo prayed for me in Jesus’ name.

The food distribution went well once all of the food arrived...  four days late.  People received enough food to allow them to eat healthy for about 2 months. We distributed 30,000 kilos of millet, 15,000 kilos of corn, and 7,500 kilos of peanuts.  As a result, the leaders of the village were so very thankful and shared many encouraging words with us. The chief told us that we were now truly a part of their village, like fathers to their children, and then they paid us the highest compliment that you can in this African culture; they called us men of peace.

Looking back now, I can see what God was doing and why.  If these people were never allowed to be this physically hungry, they never would have been spiritually fed.  Because of the physical need of the people, there resulted an open door to share the Gospel and for truth to begin to enter into their hearts. They were able to taste the Bread of Life for the first time.

Extreme Makeover - Heart Edition

The last month has been a really tough one, but through every hard time, God is there each step of the way.   I realized that things in my heart had to change or everything was going to fall apart.  A great struggle was taking place.  You see, I came to Africa with a mission and a plan for how to accomplish it.  This worked great until it clashed head-on with what God had already planned and I was not willing to give.  In the long run, my desires were God-focused and I wanted the same ultimate goals as He, but I was not particularly excited about what it was going to require of myself by doing it His way.  When faced with having to choose between God’s plan and my own, someone had to give and it clearly wasn’t going to be God.  I was the one who was in for an extreme heart makeover.

I landed in Africa and almost immediately started off on the wrong foot.  I came here with a very defensive posture; I was in an unfamiliar place, with people I didn’t know, who spoke a language I didn’t understand and with a ministry partner who I never actually gave a chance.  This was crazy!  I mean come on, after all, I took my Myers-Briggs and work style preference test.  I went through Strengths Finders and I know my spiritual gifts.  I knew what I was doing and what I was best at.  And yet here I am - an executor with no work to execute.  I am a shepherd with no flock to care for.  I love to speak and teach, but I am confronted everyday with a language barrier.  “But,” I would muse, “I took the placement test.  How on earth did I end up here?”  Before long, I was frustrated and confused, trying to put God and myself in a box because it made sense on paper.  God had other plans.  Yes, I see now that His plans involved removing me from all that was comfortable and natural for me and thrusting me into what I would like to call an environment for “accelerated critical spiritual and character growth.”

From the start, things were pretty rough in the village.  Most of the men didn’t want us there, and they had no reservations about sharing these feelings about us.  They didn’t trust us.  Their fear of us dictated everything about how they viewed us.  We knew all of this, but instead of it causing us to reach out even more, we allowed it to bind us up and keep us protected.  Not surprisingly, you could see a parallel between our relationship with the villagers and my relationship with Rich and how I treated him.  Despite this, I continued have a hard and guarded heart with Rich and told myself everything was ok so long as I was loving these people and loving God.  This is simply not biblical.  I soon found myself frustrated and discouraged.  When I finally came to the end of myself, I cried out to God.  It was as if He was just waiting for my call.  Take up a posture of humility, He said…and so began my hard heart makeover. 

“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.   And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” – Col. 3:12-14

We have received simple yet wise counsel from our leadership here and back at home.

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.” – Prov. 12:15

Stay committed together, stay in the word together, and start praying together.  By God’s grace, this counsel fell on receptive ears and hearts.  God’s Word and His Spirit began to, one by one, remedy things that needed to change, and the heart that had once been so dense – that of my own – was now beginning to look more like His heart.

“But we all, with unveiled faces, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory.  Just as by the spirit of the Lord.” – 2 Cor. 3:18

I didn’t surrender everything all at once and it hasn’t been easy…but I did commit to being diligent to work at it.  As I began to exchange pride and arrogance for humility and kindness, the desire for friendship and openness began to develop between Rich and myself.  Rather than having two separate ministries in the village, I actually grew a desire to work alongside him.  As Rich and I began to work together, things started to change in the village.  We were getting out more and spending time outside the areas we were comfortable in.  New friendships blossomed and we even found another language helper.  One of my most precious memories thus far in Africa came when we had a team up here to assess the famine in our region and my host explained something to our translator in his native tongue.  He said, “When Boussieff and Souffi (Ben and Rich) first got here, no one wanted them here.  We didn’t know what they wanted.  We didn’t trust them.  But now that they have spent some time here, we see that they have clean hearts, and we don’t ever want them to leave.”  I almost committed a cultural blooper and started crying in front of everyone. I was so touched.

All I had to do was let down my walls and lay aside my own plans to allow God to work in and through my life.  Being willfully submitted to God and each other in humility has an eternal impact on those around you.  Commands are no longer burdensome, your labor ceases to be in vain, and the love you share – His love – changes lives forever.

“The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” – 1 John 4:8

Thank you for 2011

It was the last night of 2011 and I was sitting in my dust cover room in the village.  I was praying and reflecting on the day, which lead to reflecting on the month, which lead to reflecting on the past year.  I was suddenly overwhelmed with tears of thanksgiving.  God had so graciously blessed me with such a supernatural life transforming year.  I couldn't begin to tell you all that He has done and all that has happened.  As I was reflecting on the year I remember the new years of my past and how it was celebrated more out of astonishment that I was still alive rather than with thanksgiving toward God.  I lived for so long with no regard for my life or anyone else's.  Satan had such a tight grip on me that sometimes just waking up in the morning didn't seem like it would be the next part in the story of my life.  I was on a path for destruction and I was going to take down everyone I could with me.  I was in a state of absolute depravity and longing for death.  God had other plans.

Through nothing short of a view handfuls of miracles and some incredible men and women of God I found myself walking down the right path into eternity.  This life is a gift when lived out in Christ and every moment is an opportunity to be thankful.  The world will look at my life and say you have nothing, but God looks at my life and says,"I have given you everything."

I wouldn't have seen that if I wasn't sitting here in this dirty chair, in the silence of this dusty room,  in the middle of this simple little village.  So many people where such a huge part of me being and I am truly thankful for you from the depths of my heart.  2011 wouldn't have ended the way it did without you... 

Thanks mom for never giving up and always praying.

Thanks Dad for coming to my apartment that day and telling me you wouldn't leave my side til I got on that plane.

Thanks to the Pastor and Church on the other side of that plane ride.  Who taught me I am...

Thanks Pastor Rick and the One way Church for making school possible for me where...

I met some incredible new friends.  Thank you to those friends that showed me God's love and inspired me to spread that love through out the world.

Which took me to the Philippines for friendship making and fingernail painting!

And making friends while mountain biking through part of Asia.

Thanks to those Prov 18:24 friends!

Who made community look good!

That will let you be yourself and love you anyway.

Who proof the love of God is stronger than any adversity.

Who give the best hugs!  And will love that I put this picture up of her!  HA!

Who step in and are the shoulder for those you love to lean on while you are gone.

Who showed me that being a christian is fun.

And serious... not.

They taught me it was safe now to trust and wait, and while you are waiting, love and laugh a lot!  Then when you are done waiting love and laugh even more.

Thanks so much to my family who never left my side.  I miss you guys a lot.

Don't worry the Good Lord has given me a pretty awesome family here too!

It seems like everywhere I go I am blessed to become close with more people in my family I had never met!

I am thankful Father for my new friends.  I hope they can become part of our family too!

Then they can tell all their friends and they can become part of our family too!

I am looking forward to this next year and the new memories we will make together.  Thank you for all your support and prayers.  The people in this country are encountering the overpowering love and truth of God because of it.  

Medical Clinic, 11/12/11

The Finger of God

10/22/11

we've just arrived back in the city from another trip to the village. I believe the longer we are here, the more purposeful each visit becomes. I am beginning to see more and more clearly what God is doing in me and through me during our time there. I am ill-equipped for such a God-sized task, but He always so graciously reminds me that it isn't about me and what I can't do, but about Him and what He has already begun to do.

It was the morning of the third day in the village last week, and I had one of the sweetest, most tender moments with our Heavenly Father. I sleep in a tent in the courtyard and I am normally awake before the sun rises, thanks to the faithful, obnoxious moaning of the family rooster. The sun began to pour its light into the village as I spent a little time reading from the Gospels. One of my first convictions upon arriving in Africa was that I did not know the person and work of Christ like I should. Solution to problem: spend time with Him. After a little while, I finished my reading, put my books up and washed my face and hands. This is custom before speaking to anyone in the morning. By the time I had finished, a nice little gathering of family circled me and we all sat, drinking tea and eating peanuts. I have really come to enjoy this time since it is where I have seen the kids start to open up to me. They like to teach me how to say things in their language and then laugh and giggle when I try to say them. I'm sure it's hilarious to them, I'm kind of like a big, 250 pound baby learning to talk. I laugh right along with them. With each grin and smile, they inch closer and closer to me - literally. They'll scoot and scoot towards me just an inch at a time, pretending all the while to be looking the other way. Sometimes they will even touch me, either rubbing my arm or leg to see what I'll do. I know they are waiting to see if I am anything like the men they know; distant fathers who are only enforcers of discipline and labor. Love and intimacy are unheard of in this culture. But you can see in the children's eyes that - while not yet swallowed up by the lies of the world - they long for the touch only a Father can give.

One boy named Da touched my heart in a very special way. He is timid and gentle, usually keeping his distance most of the time. Da is somewhere around 8-years-old and is the family shepherd. He is responsible for taking all the livestock out to graze for almost 10 hours everyday. There is very little time for a child to be a child in this culture. You grow up fast and work hard while you're at it. On this particular morning, Da was sitting across from me on a bamboo bed. He touched my leg and then turned away. I smiled at him and then turned my atttention back to the other children who were talking to me. Suddenly, I felt the tickle of little fingers wrapping around my pinky finger. It was Da. He retracted his hand and then looked up at me, waiting. It was easy to see he was processing something: was I going to treat him just as everyone else had? Or was there something different about me? Moved to compassion, I reached out my hand for him to take again. He grabbed two fingers that time... then three. Before long, his smile grew from ear to ear and he was giggling. I was overwhelmed with love for him, and in that instant, I remembered the day I took hold of my Heavenly Father's hand. I remembered the hesitation and the fear I had of being hurt. Love and intimacy with God were joys completely foreign to myself at the time, but something stronger than my fear drew me in. I remembered the day I first trusted Him and grabbed the finger of His gentle, merciful hand as He offered it to me. It was like nothing I had ever imagined.

I knew Da's smile all too well. It was the smile of a child who felt safe and loved. I find the same smile on my own face when I am walking hand in hand with God. It was in that moment that God showed me how it was going to be the little things that influence a soul for eternity. I may not be a great teacher or evangelist, but I can offer myself as an outstretched hand, safe and gentle, full of His loving compassion. I can be His pinky finger for Da. I know this will be how He reaches for the lives of these little ones to bring them back to Himself.

Cross culture Communal Impact

Overcoming I can't